How to Tell Your Partner about Your Sex Addiction

Category : Sex Addiction Information

How to Tell Your Partner about Your Sex AddictionAcknowledging your own addiction problem is difficult, but disclosing this information to a loved one can seem daunting, especially when it comes to disclosing a sex addiction to a partner. You may experience a flood of emotions before revealing your hidden sexual activity, such as fear, guilt, shame, embarrassment, anxiety, and sorrow. Your head may fill with several unanswered questions, such as the following:

  • “Will he or she forgive me?”
  • “Is it worth telling my partner if I can stop the addiction on my own?”
  • “Will our relationship survive?”

There is no way to know how your partner will react after learning about your hidden sex addiction, and the future of the relationship often hangs on what happens after the addiction is disclosed. Although it may sound surprising, recovery professionals often recommend waiting to tell a partner about a sex addiction until after professional help has been sought out.

Benefits of Talking to a Professional before Disclosing Your Sex Addiction

Addiction in general is a very misunderstood concept; people often consider addiction as a moral flaw rather than an uncontrollable illness. Sex addiction is even more misunderstood, and the addict can find it very beneficial to first speak with a recovery professional before telling loved ones. In doing so, the addict can get a better understanding of what is going on and what is going to happen in the future, which will better prepare him or her for talking to a partner.

The process of fully disclosing a sexual addiction to a partner is a major part of recovery and should not be done on a whim, for both the addict’s and the partner’s sake. With the help of a counselor or therapist, an addict can prepare a structured way to reveal the addiction, making sure to share the entire truth and not half-truths. Without the guidance of a recovery professional, it can be easy to minimize the sexual behavior, which can be more damaging in the long run.

What Happens when You Disclose Your Sex Addiction?

Recovery professionals can help sex addicts prepare what they should say and how they should deliver their message. It is important for addicts to take full responsibility for their behavior and show complete transparency. It is likely that partners will feel betrayed and also angry, confused, humiliated, or even shocked. It is important for addicts to show their remorse and willingness to empathize with their partner’s feelings. While it is the addicted partner’s job to fully disclose the information, he or she may do a great deal of listening afterwards. This conversation can be life changing and even traumatic for both parties, and having a counselor, therapist, or recovery professional available to guide and mediate the conversation can be of great use.